Hun, Where’s My Butt?

“Rabs, can you help me put on my butt?”

I stood just inside his office, impatiently fidgeting with my shirttails.

Rabbit removed his fingers from his keyboard, started to turn around, hesitated briefly, then took a deep breath and turned, “What did you just say?”

I held out a pillow like contraption I had just made. “Help me put on my butt.”

He grinned. “What are you up to? Is this for Hick TV?”

“Yup. And…I know…it’s going to embarrass you, but…you are the one who started it.”

I waved Rabbit into our bedroom and patted my bottom, indicating that I wanted him to stuff my butt pillow down my pants.

“I didn’t start it. All I said was that I wanted to tape you doing your impressions.” He dutifully took the butt pillow and began stuffing.

“Yeah, the only problem is, I can’t do half those impressions very well anymore. Stuff it further down and squish it around so it’s even.”

Rabbit tugged on my underwear and tried to get the butt pillow settled into place. “Do I even want to know what the hell this is for?”

“Emma Jean. The crochety old lady. She has big boobs and a big, dimply butt.”

He grinned. “You’re a nut, but in a good way.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you smiling.”

He finished playing with my underwear and kissed my cheek.

I wiggled my new butt. “How does it look?”

“Like a big butt.”

I waddled to the mirror and looked at my backside. “Eeks!!! I think I did too good a job.”

He laughed. “Yeah, it looks pretty authentic.”

“It’s pulling my pants down.”

“So, how far into this Hick Television thing are you?” Rabbit asked.

“I don’t know. A ways. You can’t see it, though.”

“No?”

“Nope. It’s embarrassing.”

“You’re putting this on your blog, but I can’t see it because it’s embarrassing.”

“Well, you can see it when it’s done. But don’t watch me do it. I feel ridiculous.”

“I just stuffed a butt pillow down your pants and you feel ridiculous letting me watch you do your impressions.”

I grinned. “Hey, a man who helps his woman apply her butt…that’s love.”

“Yup.” He ruffled my hair. “I’m going back to work. Let me know if you need anymore help.”

I wagged my new, bigger butt. ” ‘K, hun. See ya in a few.”

As I walked out into the backyard, I peered around. “I hope the hell the neighbors don’t see me like this.”

Thank God for a high fence.

I hiked my butt around and prepared to go to work.

Copyright 2008 C. D. Blizzard
www.cdblizzard.com
To view videos Go To The Hick Television tab on the cdblizzard.com/blog.